


can't you see i'm right here (i just can't use my voice)

by lollystar888



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Identity Issues, Merlin gets a new body, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i just love angst, merlin generally feels quite shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 08:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17998700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lollystar888/pseuds/lollystar888
Summary: Merlin is dead. Then he isn't.Except he has a new body, and he can't tell anyone who he really is, and he has to watch everyone he loves mourn him. So maybe he still is dead.Oh, and to top it all off he can see ghosts now.Because all he needed was more secrets to keep.





	can't you see i'm right here (i just can't use my voice)

The arrows had come out of nowhere.

He hadn’t seen them coming. Hadn’t even been aware of the danger until after one of them had already hit him square in the throat.

Either his magic had instinctually thrown him out of his body, or he was dead and a ghost to boot. The latter was looking more likely.

He’s vaguely aware of Arthur and the knights gaining tide in the fight against the bandits or the mercenaries or the minions of whoever-the-fuck. He’s more focused on the sight of his own body in front of him than anything else.

The arrow is still in his throat. He never had a chance to scream, and he looked terrified in death. His mouth is the worst – stuck in a silent expression of horror, blood in rivulets down both sides cause a pool beneath him. His eyes are sightless and wide, the tracks of his tears are evident. He is covered in blood and his hands are limp by the wound.

He’d _felt_ terrified. Remembered the struggle it was to breathe – the endless taste of blood in his mouth – that’s what had killed him. He’d drowned in his own blood, and it had seemed to last forever.

Arthur and the knights hadn’t noticed it; they still haven’t. They are too caught up in their own battles, concerned with keeping themselves alive.

He feels dread. He doesn’t want them to see him like this, but there isn’t anything any of them can do. He feels shame for what he is to put them through.

He should be doing something. But what? What did anything matter right now.

Dimly, he wonders if he is in shock.

Then he wonders if it's possible for the dead to be in shock.

(He is definitely in shock.)

 _Emrys_.

He turns. There is a figure clothed in white, features indistinguishable. He doubts they have ever been human.

“I’m dead.”

_Yes. But you **will** live again._

He looks back at his body. He doesn’t understand how that’s possible.

_You are dead. Merlin is dead. But Emrys will live on. Emrys can never die. You will be reborn. You will live._

He doesn’t understand, he doesn’t understand, _he doesn’t understand_.

But he can feel his essence, his soul being pulled in different directions and he is more scared than he has ever been.


End file.
